"they say the owl was a baker's daughter. lord, we know what we are, but know not what we may be." (Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5)

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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Thank The Pastry

There are times when people disappoint me. Situations let me down.  Expectations fail me. There are times when my hard work does not pay off and when outcomes inflicted on me are both unfair and inexplicably unjust.  Because I am someone who over-invests--in people, in my work, in my relationships, in all that I do--these times are hard for me. 

I have limited coping skills when it comes to being let down by people for whom I have deep trust.  As someone who is usually so strong, I simply disintegrate under the weight of disappointment and crumble into bitter little pieces. It's hard to put myself back together. I'm not quite the same.

I think commitment and loyalty deserve reciprocity.  It hurts when you don’t get it. It hurts deeply.  But lucky for me, I have a talent for storytelling. And even on my darkest days, I can spin a tale of my woe into epic entertainment.  I will tell my stories.

Others, on whom we count to do the right thing, may get it wrong. They deserve our forgiveness. We are all human and mistakes come naturally. Even so, I struggle to be gracious in my disbelief. I am blind to grace when I feel slighted. I am deaf to excuses when I am wronged.

I own my reactions. I own everything that has happened to me. And now I own these stories. They can’t be given away by anyone but me. That's how I comfort myself today. The day on which the pastry platter was the star of the show and we all applauded. It's just a story now.

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