A Chicken Crossed the Road

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Sometimes, my dad likes to ride his Harley up to New Hampshire to visit with the boys. Sometimes, a herd of chickens likes to waltz into my driveway and make themselves comfortable in my backyard. Just ask my dad. He witnessed it with his very own eyes. From where do these larger-than-life chickens come? Impossible to say. Why did these larger-than-life chickens cross the road? Well, I still don't know the punchline to that riddle. Check out the snap shot above. After scratching up my entire backyard, they settled in under the deck, to nest on top of the many stray wiffle balls that can be found there. Welcome! And PS: those aren't eggs!

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It was also Easter ... which is kind of funny when you think about it, because I had just hardboiled 2 dozens eggs for fancy decorating fun, and I could have conceivably hardboiled 2 dozen more depending on the stamina and productivity of my newly registered tenants. If nothing else, we could have had some very pretty wiffle balls in our Easter baskets on Sunday morning.

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Speaking of Easter baskets, even Carli got in on the fun and participated in our outdoor egg and easter basket hunt. I didn't make it too tricky for him, and I even waited for him to brew a cup of coffee before forcing him in to the fun. "Shut up and have fun!" Isn't that what my mom always said? (hee-hee)

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Although we were adorned in a far cry from our Sunday best (who wants to be in their Sunday best when the chance of a surprise attack of filthy fowl in one's own side yard has risen to a red alert of terror?), we cleaned up real nice to spend the afternoon with our families. We had a grand time, and hats off to Auntie A for organizing a 50 egg hunt, and for Grandma for making those delicious cheese potatoes. A slight tip of the hat to the Celtics who managed to win, but only after blowing a 22 point lead in the last five minutes of regulation play. Lame.

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And last, if you are either of the two people that I have actually crawled out from underneath my avalanche of details and red tape to speak with in the last three weeks, I might have mentioned that I am entirely obsessed with the song Kandi, by One eskimO. Maybe, you will be too?

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February Frenzy Meets March Madness

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While the majority of America is (or was) betting on brackets and watching ESPN makes Hessians out of college basketball players (or should I say "scholar-athletes"?), the Campos clan was busily trying to arrange something nearly as complex as an NCAA tournament. Rather than bore you with the details of our multi-state move, two new jobs, three children starting new schools, one joining the Army, and our buying and selling of homes all over the Atlantic coast, I'll just quote Dave Eggers here (again), "I have no idea how people function without near constant internal chaos. I'd lose my mind." (~A.H.W.O.S.G.) And ps: if you haven't read his memoir yet, it's time to get to your local bookstore and pick up a copy. You can borrow mine if you want. While you're at it, grab a copy of WHAT IS THE WHAT, and then you'll be a hero(ine) and a legend among your book club friends.

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In the midst of the chaos, we were able to enjoy my nephew's baptism (Hunter Allen Roberts), and a going away party for my younger brother Scott, who, as chronicled in a previous blog post, recently joined the Army and got engaged. We had Scott, and his fiancee Jeanine out for dinner recently, and we enjoyed a delicious meal, including charmoula, the recipe for which my sister-in-law Diane gave me last year. We also managed to drain a few too many bottles of wine, some scotch, and a few martinis in between. What can we say? Everything tastes better, and goes down more smoothly, when the company is good, and the conversation lively.

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Speaking of conversation, my husband and I regaled our dinner guests with the 2006 story (replete with reenactment) of how he nearly drown me by recommending that I clean the bottom of the pool while wearing his weighted SCUBA belt. Considering that my husband has the densest body mass of any human I know, and I lack the strength to kick the covers off in the morning, I think it is obvious how my first (and last) pool vacuuming experience ended. The paramedics were not called, but I attribute that miracle entirely to the Beverly YMCA for teaching me basic lifesaving skills in the 5th grade. (I would also like to attribute it to my incredibly slim waste that was able to wiggle out of the weight belt without unfastening it, thus allowing me to escape its death grip, but I am 1) not sure that is true, and 2) not sure if those are the types of things one should admit in public.)

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Other fun and exciting things that happened this last month. Casey, the boys, and I went to Time to Clay pottery so that each of them could make a "wish box". A place for them to put their wishes as a way of lessening their anxieties about the many upcoming changes. Of course, my two little tightwads only want to put money it their wish boxes, because the idea of an online bank account just doesn't make sense when you are 5. It doesn't matter how many times I show them their online balances, I get the same question each time: "If my money is in the computer, why do we have to go the ATM?"

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Last, my husband and I were able to enjoy a few days off from parenting, and attend the wedding of a dear family friend. A few notable events happened during this brief escapade.

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First, we managed to take less than two pictures the entire time. This tends to happen often. Probably far too often. I've included the one picture I took of Carli, standing near the fort in St. Augustine. He's handsome. I don't need tons of pictures to prove it.

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Second, we drove our first hybrid vehicle. A rather frightening experience when you realize that the car is moving (super silently) and you are about to run over an entire pod of innocent pedestrians.

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Third, I got a tattoo. Well, to be more accurate, it's a temporary henna tattoo, which is still pretty risky for someone like me. The best/worst part was that I had to sit in a store front window while the "artist" painted it on me, and then I had to walk around with my shirt tied with a rubber band in the back for about an hour while it dried. I felt like I looked just like one of those horribly tacky people who want the world to see their lame tramp stamp tattoo so they wear a half-shirt and parade around tourist locations, when they really have no business, and the weather does not call for, wearing half-shirts.

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Fourth, we saw an amazing band at a colorful local establishment called The Trade Winds Tropical Lounge. If you haven't been, you should really visit Trade Winds, because it is the type of place that reminds you, that the majority of people in this country are not concerned with feeding their children organic food, are happy to drink the well vodka, and are really and truly not concerned with how much your shirt is, or is not, riding up and revealing your alleged "back fat".

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Fifth, at this same establishment, I met Steven Segal (or his doppleganger, see the photo to believe it), AND an honest-to-goodness, living and breathing guy named Bubba, who had to be at least 6'5", with feathered bangs, and wearing a full denim suit (with vest). Bubba is a mortgage broker, and he was in town to receive payment on an outstanding debt in the form of a motor boat. Bubba was possibly the most friendly person I ever met, and he astonished us with his plans for "making that boat rock" all night long. Bubba, I hope all your dreams came true.

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And like I said, there was an AMAZING band playing, The Red River Band, and here's a short clip of them covering a Charlie Daniels tune. I thought the man was playing the violin, but I was later corrected, and learned that he was playing the "fiddle". Whatever it was, it was awesome.

Heroes Among Us

I have recently come under criticism for not encouraging my children to believe in Santa Claus. When asked, "Mama, is Santa real?", I would simply respond, "It depends on what you believe." I really didn't see the point in fictitious elaboration, when vague honesty seemed like such a bette alternative.

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I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Every now and again I get a glimpse into the world through the eyes of my children. What I see is so endearing.

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Last week, we were watching "This Is It" (the Michael Jackson documentary). My boys have inherited my love of music and dancing, and they were fascinated by the amazing dance moves and groovy beats. Right in the middle of it all, when Michael Jackson (surrounded by back-up dancers) was busting a move like nobody's business, Eamon announced, "Duke is the only man in the whole world who can dance better than these guys." I looked at him, evaluated for a trace of sarcasm, and saw only the most sincere eyes and loving expression. He really truly meant it.

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Later that week, I asked Eamon not to pull on the spindles on the second floor landing. I tried to explain that if he pulled too hard, they might break off, and someone might fall. It would be dangerous. He looked at me, dumbfounded and replied, "Well, don't worry Mama, Duke wouldn't get hurt, because he has a parachute." A parachute? Seriously?

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While watching the Super Bowl, Liam told me, "These guys are lucky that Duke doesn't play professional football, because he's an amazing quarterback." Wow. Watch out Drew Brees.

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If you are in third grade you often weave tall tales to earn the respect of your undeserving peers. Stepdads like Duke become urban legends. I heard Liam telling his friends, "My stepdad can hit a wiffle ball over the roof ... with a shovel." Well, actually he can do that, so it wasn't really a myth or a tale, but definitely a legend. Liam also told me, "It doesn't matter where we are, Duke will always protect us because he is so strong."

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The way I see it. My boys have invented their own mythical being. The legend of Duke. Their hero is alive and well. It all depends on what they believe.

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And, he has a parachute.

Behind the Barn

Whoever invented January should be taken out and shot behind the barn. The only two good things that have happened in the history of January are that my mom and my sister-in-law were born. Well, my friend Hanan and my friend Andrea's husband, Derek were born too. Other than that, January comes up pretty short.

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When I haven't been busy freezing, slipping on the ice, or fumbling around in the dark (because daylight is so scarce this month), I have been teaching a lot and preparing for a very exciting move. That's keeping us all pretty busy. Anyone who knows me, knows that I like nothing better than a big project to keep my gears grinding at a breakneck pace at all hours of the day. In fact, just the other morning at 0200, I figured out exactly where I am going to hang all of my framed photos in my new house (c'mon you know, my new house ... the one I haven't bought yet). My poor husband. He keeps saying "Just relax, don't get all keyed up." And I keep looking with at him with intense curiosity and wondering if he has ever met me before.

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I would be remiss and negligent if I didn't mention one really exciting thing that happened in January 2010. My baby brother, Scott, was accepted to the United States Army Warrant Officer Flight Training program. Then, he stupified all of the Munroes, and got engaged a week later. Last time I checked, he was riding a tricycle and eating Zwieback. I guess I need to stay more involved. The good news is, I really like his fiancee, so I'll forgive him for growing up without notifying me in advance.

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Duke and the boys started cleaning the garage to get ready for the move. Liam announced: "Wow, Duke, you have a LOT of tools!" to which Eamon replied

"Of course he does Liam! You can't be a MAN without tools."

You heard it here first.

A Very Campy Christmas

Who doesn't love the merriment of Christmas? The boys had so much fun decorating the Christmas tree, and even though they don't believe in Santa Claus, Liam calculated that "if" Santa were real, it could be possible to visit all of the children of the world in one night because of "time zones". You see, he's very rationale. Yes Santa, you and your eight reindeer have time zones on your side.

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Another thing we love about Christmas is getting to spend so much time with our friends. For one great evening of wrapping, those amazing Beverly-women gathered together to share good tidings of great joy. We also drank a lot of wine, and wrapped a lot of gifts. We were just doing our part to make sure Santa makes it around the world, and through each time zone, with a gift for every girl and every boy. (you know how they say that married people start to look alike ... well, even though we aren't married, I think that Sara, Kelly, Andrea, me, and Sarah are all sort of starting to look alike. Is that what happens after 25 years of friendship?)

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On Christmas Eve, the Campos women played a little game of charades. Can you guess what we are in this photo? Go on. Guess. Nope! Guess again. Nope! Take one more guess. Nope! You couldn't guess it? Alright, I'll tell you ... we're the bars of service icon on your cell phone ... see it now?

Whatever you do Jeannette, don't drop your champagne glass.

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One last thing we like to do on Christmas Eve is get rowdy in the kitchen after all the guests have departed. We thought Santa might like to participate in a little after-party. So, we did some dancing before opening our gifts. Here's our take (the good, the bad and the ugly) of The Cupid Shuffle. My husband witnessed this crafty little line-dance at an office Christmas party this year, and our lives have been forever transformed by its catchy beat and overly simplistic choreography (To the right, to the right, to the right, to the right ...) If nothing else, in this season of miracles, this video proves that every girl believes she is the world's greatest dancer after consuming two or more glasses of champagne.

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And for parting words this holiday season, "Whoever said that the Snuggie was a stupid gift, couldn't have been more wrong ..."

The Days of December

People often refer to the dog days of summer. I like to refer to the dark days of December. I don't think there is a darker month than this one. With cold afternoons, bitter wind chills, and dark evenings that preclude outdoor recreation, the boys find themselves in search of things to occupy their time. When I'm not busy putting them to bed at 6:05 PM, they like to entertain themselves by playing on their new jungle gym: their stepbrother Alex. Alex is the perfect height and body mass for tag team wrestling and every other form of renegade martial arts. He also moonlights as a pull-up bar (which is great for Eamon who can already pass the APFT (the Army Physical Fitness Test) with flying colors.

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Liam, on the other hand, prefers dancing it up in the kitchen with his stepsister, who has taught him some recent moves, including the Cupid Shuffle. In this short video, Liam demonstrates his mad skillzzzzz while performing the classic dance routine, The Robot.

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The other great thing that happens in the dark days of December, is that Duke has a birthday. And that, my friends, gives us ALL something to celebrate. Here's a great picture of all of us enjoying his birthday dinner. (By the way, that entire meal was made from scratch, up to AND including the salad dressing and pasta dough. I even shelled Lupini beans -- whatever they are -- and had some extra-special scotch whiskey shipped in from overseas with a little help from my friends on Twitter ... and I would just like to see one of you try to pull that off ... smile ....)

I know, I know, the way the camera is angled in this photo, we all look like a bunch of pins at the end of a bowling alley, with three colored balls coming at us. What can I say? It's a perfect ten.

A Very Nerdy November

I happen to enjoy November more than most months, for obvious reasons. First, there is an entire day dedicated just to me AND I get to spend the better part of the month making excuses to bake pies, cook food, and prepare fancy drinks for other people. I also like the crisp smell of late fall air, the anticipation of the first snow, and putting my kids to bed at 5:30 PM when its pitch black.

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The other day, I was driving in the car (where I spend 90% of most of my waking hours) and I overheard this conversation.

"Eamon, there really is such a thing as a rhombus you know."

"No there isn't Liam. I learned my shapes already and rhombus isn't even a real word you know."

"Eamon, I am 8 and you are 4. Which one of us do you think knows what a rhombus is? Here, give me that paper bag and I'll fold it into a rhombus to show you." (origami project silently underway)

"LIAM, that is a DIAMOND, not a rhombus." (sound of origami rhombus being crumpled and thrown on the floor). End of conversation.

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In other family news, my sister has been babysitting my kids, and I have been babysitting her kids, and I am sure a this point, none of the kids know which one of us is their real mother. Even though Liam has mono in this photo, it is still a very fabulous capture of all four cousins on the sofa together (Liam (8 1/2), Hunter (5 mos), Eamon (4 1/2) and Austin (2). A striking family resemblance, if I must say so myself.

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Another great thing about November is that outdoor soccer ends, and that leaves plenty of time for revisiting basketball. Duke set up some dribbling drills for Liam in the driveway and taught him how to do lay-ups with both his left and right hands. Liam also explained to me that he is working on his "deep shooting" too. Whatever that means. Eamon is getting in on the action too. The kid is a ball-handling machine.

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The last, and most fabulous, thing that happens in November is that I get to see those fabulous ladies with whom I grew up in Beverly. For one great afternoon, most of them descended upon Mallard Drive, for lots of sharing and caring. I love this photo of all of us sitting on the sofa with all of our kids. I like to think that in the future, our kids will look back on this picture and remember that afternoon as the thing of urban legend. Yeah, you know, that house where we jumped on the beds and that lady set up the entire tot-city, complete with tunnels, tents and domes all interlocking into a wonderland of Thanksgiving gratitude.

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And in case you don't believe me ... just watch this video of Ava getting the party started.