"they say the owl was a baker's daughter. lord, we know what we are, but know not what we may be." (Hamlet, Act IV, Scene 5)

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Monday, August 6, 2012

Because You Can't Make It Up (3) August 7, 2012

All things overhead. Because you can't make it up.

1. "I don't think we're going to have a problem unless you bring the duck into the bedroom with you. In which case, pretty safe to say, that we're going to have issues."

2. "Well, my grandmother finally graduated from college and moved out, so that stress is over."

3. "That yogurt looks so good, I wish I could have some but I can't eat sugar."
"Really? That's kind of hard to believe because you're standing in front of me right now sucking on a pixie stick."

4. "How much would you pay me if I came to class tomorrow wearing rubber boots?"

5. "Guess I won't be dancing on your glass ceiling in my stilettos anytime soon."

6. "Jeannette! JEA-NNETTE! Get back in the car! It's rolling away from the drive thru window."

7. "You can now tell people you've been beaten with hot bamboo sticks."

8. "Oh right, like the two of us are gonna want to go a topless bar with you."
"What!? Not a topless bar! A tapas bar, you moron."

9. "Wow! You work a death job? I never heard anyone say that before."
"No. I said I work a desk job - a desk job, not a death job. Come to think of it, there's not much of a difference actually ..."

10. "If I leave now, you will never see me again - never."
"Is that a promise?"

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